Today I had a great day... I don't say that often enough so I'll say it again... Today I had a great day, YEAH ME! I only had one panic attack throughout the whole day, I'm actually really proud of myself. I'm praying that it's true what they say... Time heals. My family and I spent the day doing various activities in our community. It was a lot of fun, I want to push myself to get out more. It was great to see the outside world instead of staring at these four walls thinking. I think way too much and always end up putting stupid thoughts into my head. Sometimes I wish I could just turn my brain off... I'd really love an off and on switch. (Maybe Santa will get me one for Christmas if I'm a good girl haha!) Hopefully I can keep up with not having anxiety, but it's not under my control. I'm hoping my medication will keep it under control, I would be so thankful if it did.
It's so peaceful right now, I just put my little one to bed and my boyfriend has been sleeping for hours. Him and I aren't getting along too well lately, so the peace is nice. He's never been in a serious relationship before so when it comes to commitment he's clueless. Our relationship happened a bit to quick and we had to grow up fast... I wasn't ready for a huge commitment... but then I found out I was pregnant, oopsie! You can pretty much say since the first time we started dating I was pregnant, but I didn't realise it until a month later. I wouldn't change having my son for the world, but I may change on the time I had my son. I would have preferred to have him years later, but I'm blessed he's in my life. My boyfriend and I don't connect well, I'm not even sure if he's my soul mate. We've been through a lot and I thank him for being by my side... but I'm just not sure if we are meant to be. I guess sooner or later I will find out, I would just rather find out as soon as possible. I don't want my son to go through what I went through growing up.
It's so peaceful right now, I just put my little one to bed and my boyfriend has been sleeping for hours. Him and I aren't getting along too well lately, so the peace is nice. He's never been in a serious relationship before so when it comes to commitment he's clueless. Our relationship happened a bit to quick and we had to grow up fast... I wasn't ready for a huge commitment... but then I found out I was pregnant, oopsie! You can pretty much say since the first time we started dating I was pregnant, but I didn't realise it until a month later. I wouldn't change having my son for the world, but I may change on the time I had my son. I would have preferred to have him years later, but I'm blessed he's in my life. My boyfriend and I don't connect well, I'm not even sure if he's my soul mate. We've been through a lot and I thank him for being by my side... but I'm just not sure if we are meant to be. I guess sooner or later I will find out, I would just rather find out as soon as possible. I don't want my son to go through what I went through growing up.
4 comments:
Getting out can be veddy veddy good for depression especially. Glad you had a good day!
And btw, since you asked, my "real" blog, the one worth reading, is http://migrainechow.com
Glad you had a great day and wish you many more! The walls and the darkness will close in on me too if I just sit and allow my mind to race.
Hi! I followed you over from a comment you left on another blog. Welcome to blogland! I can tell you that you will find wonderful support here. Beginning my blog and connecting with all of these supportive, caring people is the best thing I ever did for my own healing.
Sending you lots of warm thoughts on your healing path. Keep writing - it really does help.
Tamara
Hey!! Thank you for your comment on my blog. I don't rant like that too often but when I do boy do I ever catch on fire! lol. Anyway I appreciated your sympathy and I think together we should write a long letter begging for candy-coated meds. lol. I would like to add you to my blogroll. I hope that's ok. Nice to meet you. Hope to see you again soon. Will try to catch up on your blog! Jena
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